My job and my boss

3 months into my new job and probation is finally over. A good boss brings out the potential in me and that goes for some other people too I guess. My first job and follow up by another 2, were a disaster. The job itself is enjoyable but the working atmosphere is ruined by these certain kind of people especially my direct boss. 
My current job and the super boss lets me realise like black and white, day and night, why I felt like quitting my previous jobs so much without thinking twice and left me thinking for a good few months that I’m incapable of taking up stress or pressure or can’t even do the job well for that matter. 

My boss has good qualities more than any average good boss. Knowing her have stopped me from wondering if there are any good bosses still left out there. 

1. She listens. 

Like she will really listen to the problems I’m having at work and seriously think of ways and possible solutions for me because I alone can’t solve them. As far as I remember, my second boss is a total crazy dude. He will not listen to any of his employee and will not analyse the problem to hold up on the work and will just basically blame everyone else saying they are inefficient and making excuses. 

2. She wants me to ask her questions. 

She always encourages me to ask her anything I might want to know or have any doubts about work and never get annoyed even for once. 

3. She teaches me, like how a good teacher or lecturer would to a student. 

She tells me all about her experiences, ups and downs and most importantly, how to approach, communicate and deal with different people because it seems like the most difficult task in everyday job. 

4. She is considerate and kind. 

How many bosses are are considerate of their subordinates? They will simply think they are paid to do the job so just do it. Well hey, I agree there are some employees too lazy to do even the tiniest of work, but there are extremely good ones out there too. It all depends on individual attitude. 

5. She wants her subordinates to grow into better people (promoted with better salary too😅, that’s what she said.) 

She tries her best to guide me and all her previous staffs under her. She will make the working environment into a place where I want to keep learning and discover new things everyday. I’m forever so grateful for having her as my direct boss. 

For all my previous bad luck with bad bosses (reallyyyy bad bosses I tell you), I’m contented with what I have now. One just have to go through tough times to be able to appreciate the good times especially the people. It’s worth it. Yup, I said it out now. 

Found myself

That was fast.

First time I checked my blog again, realised there wasn’t a single post made in the whole of 2015. After being lost for a year and little over, I’m glad to have found myself back again, with better qualities in me, thanks to my loving family (exclude my Dad -_- , always) and loving and caring boyfriend.

2016: I’m back, full with energy and grateful to everything in life. Cheerful defines me.

Lost.

I’m lost. For the first time in my life, I’m lost. Totally. What should I do? The more I think about it, the more I feel that life’s not fair. When I thought things would get a little bit better, all hopes are swapped off the shelves.
Silver lining, they say. Can’t even see it most of the time. As much as I am an optimist, sometimes I felt this is what is killing me from the inside.

Back in Mother Country

Well, I’m back here in Yangon, Myanmar. It’s good being back here with Mommy and big sis after quite a long time but was welcomed with lots of stuff and Chinese New Year so wasn’t even able to move my attention to the word ‘internet’, let alone my blog. Haha.

I kinda started missing Singapore and all the people I met there. Well, I’m sure I’ll be back there soon enough and meet them again. 🙂

I’m back here too on my dear blog!!! Yayyyy!

3.5 years in Singapore

When I first arrived in Singapore to attend SP (Singapore Polytechnic), it was the year 2010 and I just had my birthday a couple of days ago. Even though I guessed that I wouldn’t be going back home so often like others, little did I know that I’d be missing festivals and celebrations not just for a year but for the next couple of years to come. I no longer could light candles on my house’s veranda railings at Thidingkyut ( Lights Festival) or decorate the house with LED lights nor could I eat my Mom’s best dishes during Chinese New Year. Even though my Father’s missing almost 24/7 everyday, at least the four of us still celebrate all the festivals together and be happy with what we can do for ourselves.

Now that I have graduated from SP, things slowly began to change course without me realizing it. Here I was thinking I will be here in Singapore for another 3 years to work but suddenly, end of 2013 came nearing and I was preparing to leave this country. A lot of things happened and contributed to my decision to leave in these short few months after I graduated in May. Yes, I have always dreamed of studying in the States at the back of my mind but it was not a necessity for me. But fate has its way of doing things and now I am preparing to go back to Myanmar and start my immigration process to the States as well as for studies.

These 3 years in Singapore has been a very memorable time for me. I made loads of good friends and memories, learned a huge amount of things from all my lecturers and those whom I met along the way. I’ve had my fair share of problems and the biggest one was the one I never even thought would have happened to me during my 3 months work and that was also the one which I learned a great deal about people and their minds and selfishness but above all, as much as I’m disappointed in finding those bad people, I’m more glad that I found myself in the hands of good people and can’t thank enough for helping me got out of that mess.

I’m grateful to the landlady and her family too. They are such nice people that, throughout the 3 years’ stay with them in Singapore, it felt almost like family to me. And even though it was just a year since I met my violin teacher, Elle, I felt like she’s more like a close sister-friend than a teacher to me. It may have been just a year of lessons with her but I enjoyed this one year learning violin and other knowledge from her.

Yes, I no longer wanted to spend my time in Singapore but then again, leaving a place always has something to miss and a little bit of sadness there. The most I’ll miss and be sad to leave behind is my brother. I know he’ll be coming over to the States in another year but I still can’t help feeling sad. Well, I think a year will be gone quite fast.

The countdown to my departure day is just 5 days away from now. Everything is ready to pack and I’ve met most of the people who are good enough to squeeze some time into their busy days to meet me. Well, hope we’ll meet again some day, if not Singapore, then some other parts of the world.

 

The Year 2013

In overall, I can say that year 2013 has not been a very good year for me. From having to say goodbye to my diploma student days to getting a job which thank god, only lasted a few months because of the horrible ex-boss (And he’s a money loving asshole to the extent that he underpays and extorts from employees, eeewwww, but karma stands firm so yeah).

I don’t mind graduating from a diploma course because that didn’t really fall into the bad-bad category. In fact, it’s something I mark as one of my accomplishments in life. But then there was this period of time when I had to worry so much about what to do and I thought my student days are over, which means I can say bye to my Bachelor Degree.

But then there were lots of things I learned from 2013. Miracles don’t just come in a puff of cloud and ‘POOF’!, you’re out of all troubles. They come in long term insurance kinda plan and one’s gotta be patient, way patient. I thought when everything seems so bleak and blur, things started to change its course very suddenly in November and I can firmly and strongly say it’s just gonna slowly but steadily better. Of course, there will be small little obstacles and problems along the way but that’s just normal. Can’t get any worse, hopefully. Well, at least I’m ending 2013 better than mid year but this year is unique. As together to saying goodbye to dear old 2013, I will be saying goodbye to many people and a country where I spent my pass 3 years.

Life changing decisions are so much harder when one has a problematic Father but I’m getting used to it somehow. And even though I decided that 2013 was somewhat a bad year for me, I’m thankful to those little bad years since they taught me lessons and grilled me into a more matured me. I really hope that 2014 is a better year for me as well as my family and everyone. And guess what? It’s a good sign that the days will only get better because I’m going back for Chinese New Year next month in 3 years. Weeeeee! 😀 Can’t wait to taste my Mom’s freshly cooked meals in like….forever. Haha.

GOODBYE 2013!!! It’s been good getting to know you. You were a little hard to understand and maneuver but in the end, we got on quite well, didn’t we. 🙂

WELCOME 2014!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I love you and love me too.

“Small little bad years are like stepping stones which lead to big good years to come.”

Life is like playing Sudoku.

I believe most of my followers have played Sudoku at one point. I play it all the time and it is one of my favourite game, because I learn loads of stuff from it, apart from sharpening my logical and thinking skills.

At most of the squares, there are 2 choices at where you can put a number and there is a chance of 50% getting it right and the other half wrong. There’s a point when you have to take a risk of guessing which square to choose and there’s no avoiding it. If you made the wrong choice due to lack of experience or luck at one point, it’s okay because you know the other half is still right and you can make amends, and you’ll eventually finish the game.
But to be almost perfect, don’t make too many mistakes. There are squares where you can’t make mistakes twice or you’ll blow the game because you can’t turn back. Some squares are where you really can’t even make a mistake.

100% Out of the comfort zone

Yesterday I went to see my very close Teacher at her house. I’ve known her for almost 8 years now and boy, am I glad I came to know such a nice person in my life. She treats me as her daughter and she has taught, shown and told me lots of things about life as well as how to being a good Buddhist. All in all, I’m very proud to know her and very proud to say, yes, I am her student-daughter. 🙂

Whenever we meet, we talk about almost anything, from jokes to life’s lessons. During yesterday’s talk, my Teacher mentioned about helping others. When coming to this subject, we normally think helping others is simple. Yes, helping is simple but giving real help with sincerity is hard because my Teacher said when you really help someone, be it someone you know or not, one has to step out of their comfort zone to be really helping someone. And yes, I agree it’s so true. Because be it a monetary help or a physical help, we all need to sacrifice a little of what we have in order to solve the problems the other is facing. It’s just a degree of how much we have to come out of that comfort zone we all are unwilling to leave. Sometimes, one has to even go to the extent of giving up 100% of the comfort zone, to be able to really help the person in need.

Coming out of the comfort zone includes everything. Be it the time taken to being mistaken you’re not helping out of sincerity but being fake or your help is not being appreciated. But that’s the thing: when we really intend to help someone, give comfort or assist someone, we have to be prepared for all these. What one gets in return while giving out real help, doesn’t show the effort we put in. The only thing that matters, is that you or me, while helping, we really tried our best and really give out the warmest regards along with the help we are providing. That, is what we will be happy about, after all, and nothing matters. Just go all out to help as much as you can.

Because of these words my Teacher said, nothing matters to me anymore while helping someone. Because even if you do, the only one who’ll be left hurt is you. Why don’t we just expand our comfort zone while helping others and not make it smaller by the negative vibes people left behind?

Now I know

There was once when I was out shopping with my Mommy when I was around 13. That day, I saw a group of my friends shopping alone without their Moms or Dads. Back then, I remembered thinking to myself how nice it would be to be able to go shopping with friends or just by myself. But now that I have to do any kind of shopping, from groceries and toilet papers to fashion accessories or clothes all by myself, I really wished I am with my Mommy doing all the shopping.

Back then, I didn’t see myself thinking wishing that my Mom is with me now. Well honestly, I never thought I’d be thinking about the things I am thinking and wishing now. Even though I have quite some deficiency while growing up, I really want to go back to the days when my Mom would be there for me for just about anything. I can turn to her to talk about anything but now I can’t and I won’t because given her age, I don’t want her to worry so much about me anymore. It’s high time she deserves some peace after all the years of worries and tiredness.

Speaking about childhood, I don’t have any regrets about it since I always listened to my Mom in every aspects. I have seen people really wanting to get back the hours lost. I do understand and sympathize with them but all these while, all the decisions solely lie within the individuals. I do learn one thing from looking at these people: never to make decisions or do something that would make me regret for the rest of my life. I know it’s an easy saying but it’s really hard to abide because sometimes decisions are hard to make. Well, if that’s the case I just have to try a little harder to realise what decisions should I be making. I really hope I can change for the better, slow but steady.

Am I still so weak?

Made a promise to myself I would try to solve any problems I face when I was 12 on my own.  Thought I am much stronger after all these years of pain, but I realised I am still so weak. Having to grow up where even basic things given to me by my own Father, was always being told that I owe him all of these, I feel fed up even to want to ask for help when I have things I can’t face alone, because I don’t want to be told and reminded every second that I owe anyone anything, by those who helped me not out of sincerity  but out of other motives.

A recent happening to my life taught me lots of things and made me realise quite a fair few things too. I am glad to have known I have quite a fair few friends who have been and will be by my side no matter what and glad that I came to know new friends who will do the same too. But then I really hated myself for not being able to solve my problems alone still. Hate it that I have to trouble others, even though I know they meant it when they are trying to help and encourage me and everything. Really hate it that I’m still so weak, after all the things I came through and kept saying no matter what, I have to stay strong and to become stronger. Biggest thing I hate is, when I know I’m being unfairly treated and I have to lower my head and can’t react because I have to consider so many things. I have had enough of lowering my head and not saying or doing anything, just because I am still a kid or my Father thinks I am and some other people too.  Fine! I will let it be for this once. I can still take it as long as things doesn’t involve any of those I love getting hurt.

To those some of them, they might think I’m just exaggerating or too emotional, I don’t blame them because it’s me who’s in these shoes and not them. They will never know how uncomfortable and painful these shoes can get sometimes but still, I can’t get out of it and I still have to keep walking like nothing’s wrong with them. But I am very grateful that there are always medicines that will heal the blisters and pains on my feet along the way. And for that, I can keep walking, no matter what. Well, I have to become stronger still…..